I may have finally chosen poorly. I picked the delayed direct train to Leipzig after too many people wandered over to the first train. It left twenty minutes before the Dresden train, but we are now doing the Grand Tour of Frankfurt with lots of bonus stops, currently in Niederrad. Probably going to miss the connection in Leipzig, too.

This junction is called Forsthaus and you can kind of see why.

The good news is that the Dresden train is definitely behind us and has two stops more than us, so I should make it. The bad news is that it is already running 35 minutes late. It won’t be in Dresden before eight and I kind of had an appointment for seven.

All the sidings on the Fulda – Bebra line are filled with goods trains. We even had to overtake one on the left track, blocking an oncoming goods train.

The problem in Germany isn’t the state of the infrastructure, the problem are the way too many trains.

You’d always know this is Leipzig Hbf from those very unique track number light boxes.

Pretty much all of first class is reserved specifically for the Leipzig – Dresden section. Probably because while these ICEs are always busy, the parallel regional service is way worse.

Here we are, 147 minutes late, the average run time of a contemporary movie film.

Buses in Dresden have proper vehicle numbers complete with check digit and all.

Approaching the train shed with the sailcloth roof can only mean one thing: part two of this journey is about the start.

First, Anička will take us to Berlin. This early Saturday service is super busy, particularly its single first class carriage. Voluntary downgrade into the far end of second class which is a little better until Dresden-Neustadt and then fills up, too.

The old Schönefeld Airport station. for some reason we are going the eastern route and onto Stadtbahn today. Let’s hope the timetable they made for that is generous enough so I can make my twenty minute connection to Hamburg.

Also, is something unusual behind us or are all the trainspotters here for the boring old Vector? Not the first group I’ve seen this morning.

The new Czech Comfort Jet carriages have this button next to the toilet door which, if you push it, makes beep and seemingly does nothing else. To open the door, you have to push it.

Everyone pushes the button twice before eventually finding the little “push” sticker.

Also, why are people incapable of closing doors quietly?

Of course, Stadtbahn is way more fun than Anhalter Bahn and its cuttings and tunnels.

“Welcome aboard this train to Hamburg heigh-bee-eff.” Honestly, that is the best way to name the station in English, since that’s what it says in tour ticket and travel plan.

“Cologne Trade Fair/Deutz” meanwhile is pretty confusing. You have to translate it back into German to make any sense of it.

There seem to be different levels of ICE 1 renovations.* This unit still has the windows in the bathrooms.

* This particular renovation got the very German term Lebensdauerverlängerung or life span extension.

Next I shall attempt a bit of S-Bahn castling. The northbound regional trains are only starting in Pinneberg today, so I have to get there by S-Bahn. The suggested connection is to first take an S5 to Eidelstedt and then an S3 from there resulting in a four minute connection in Pinneberg. But all the S3s are running a couple minutes late, so this probably isn’t going to work.

But I can the Eurocity to Denmark at Neumünster with the following regional, do it is worth a shot.

Nope. This S3 is ten minutes late and will miss the train. The previous one was only six minutes late and I missed it. Right back to central station and unto the cursed Eurocity.

That train leaves in over an hour, so considering the lovely sunny weather I’ve decided to do the sensible thing and walk from Sternschanze down to Jungfernstieg.

Why Landungsbrücken, you ask? Well:

Oh, good. The Eurocity is arriving from Copenhagen two hours late, currently expected to arrive at the same minute as it is due to depart. I have a ten minute transfer in Kolding.

Why does the only train connection between central and northern Europe have to suck so much?