this will serve as my live tweet thread for Apple's "Awe Dropping" event

[Guest]

seeing the jet black apple watch just makes me wish they still made jet black iphones

[Guest]

this year's apple watch will be able to tell time

[Guest]

i cant imagine wanting to listen to anything like a podcast from my apple watch, i cant imagine using my speakers on anything either LOL

[Guest]

my dick is the largest it's ever been on me

[Guest]

iPhone 17 is kinda cute, finally has ProMotion? Did previous base line iPhones? I forgot ;-;

[Guest]

finally, blast processing

[Guest]

@vozercozer "thinnest ever" fuck off actually I want a big ass watch on my wrist
gshock 4 lyfe

[Guest]

10 minutes of charge gives you 8 hours of video playback?

[awoo@gts.apicrim.es]

@novenary @vozercozer fr!! i'd rather have thicker devices than to deal with mediocre battery life lmao

[Guest]

uhhhh how do you know that Ms. Privacy That's Apple?

[Guest]

@awoo @vozercozer real as fuck for phones but i won't be caught dead buying a """smart""" watch lol

[Guest]

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[awoo@gts.apicrim.es]

@novenary @vozercozer the only kind of smarter-than-a-gshock-watch i'd be interested in are pebbles, and maybe, just maybe ones where you can just have whatever you'd like in terms of firmware on it (while still having a much better battery life than whatever apple and pixel watches (which are just phones on a wrist nowadays, really) can reach)

[Guest]

i hate being that asshole but i've never been this unexcited for an iphone in my entire life.

[Guest]

i cant believe it, apple invented the google pixel

[Guest]

dont. i know youre thinking it. dont.

[Guest]

has unbox therapy died yet because i know his ass is gonna be salivating to bend this

[Guest]

so the iphone line up rn is

• iPhone
• iPhone Plus
• iPhone SE
• iPhone Pro
• iPhone Pro Max
• iPhone Air

[Guest]

catch me on the subway with scissors

[Guest]

i think they forgot to leave the part where children in china taiwan india are throwing themselves off buildings